Updated: May 30, 2022
Our relationship with our Self – our whole Self – is an essential starting point where all else follows. I share the story of how I healed an aspect of myself through a relationship and how I gained a valuable perspective that I now use for myself and others.
My relationship with friendship
I had a friend who I had known for many years. I noticed that I would get anxious every time she would reach out to meet up in recent years. My anxiety would get worse, and I could not understand why. Last year, while studying at the Holistic Healing College, I decided to view our relationship from a spiritual perspective to understand it at a deeper level.
I chose to meet her at the soul level while practicing a Relationship Cord Balancing visualization. She appeared in front of me, to my left. An energetic cord between us was attached from my left hand to her right hand.
I set the intention to cut the unhealthy aspects of the cord; however, I found it very difficult to cut this energetic cord full-stop. I started to feel disturbed by the connection because I could not cut it. I went from wanting to cut only the unhealthy aspect to wanting to cut the whole thing! At that moment, the vibration of the cord changed, got more intense, and it felt like I could not do it alone. In my vision, I called for help.
The left side of the body is associated with our feminine (intuitive) energies that represent our nurturing and creative side. The right side of the body is associated with the masculine (logical) energies that represent stability, foundation, and support. When these energies are in balance, we feel supported and nurtured in our own space. However, when they are unbalanced, a relationship may not feel fully supported and create distorted attachments with the other based on fear, and the fear can be fueled by insecurity.
Insecurities and self-confidence issues initially brought us together, although we expressed them differently. I was never myself, and there were many reasons for this. However, I could not clearly understand it, and I also did not have the self-confidence to stand up for myself when I did. This became a pattern over the years in many of my friendships. When a connection is unbalanced, it can be taxing on the auric field and keep us from creating a balanced space to welcome new relationships and opportunities.
I read an interesting metaphor that described the difference between empathy and compassion, which I feel is helpful in any relationship. Empathy is equivalent to throwing yourself in a pool of water to save someone from drowning. You throw yourself in to meet them in their energetic space. This can be perceived by many in society as the righteous thing to do, but is it?
On the other hand, compassion is where you reach for a pole and hand it to them so they can make their way out of the pool in their own time. It is their choice to swim to safety and help themselves. Sure, there are times we do need to throw ourselves in the pool, but how often is it vital? Are we losing ourselves in the process? Or is there another way that creates balance in our lives?
That weekend, at the Holistic Healing College, I released and healed all the emotions I had kept inside from that friendship – all of them occupying energetic space. I hardly slept that night as scenes from my life came up to review and observe. They all formed a theme and pattern that brought me to tears. Each of these memories would seem insignificant on their own (and not a big deal), but they can manifest as emotions such as anxiety when added up through the years.
In its many forms, dimensions, and focus, spiritual healing is an inward journey where we take full responsibility for the experiences we have chosen in our lifetime. There was no malice or conscious intention to hurt another. Ultimately, we must forgive ourselves and be grateful for all we experience. The experience I shared above is an example of spiritual counseling whereby doing the deep inner work, one takes responsibility for their own actions and choices without blaming another.
The more inner work I do, the more emotionally resilient (and clearer) I become of who I am and how I want to live my life; anything inauthentic eventually falls away because there is no room for it. I suppose this naturally happens as we grow older, and many do not experience these issues. In my case, spiritual counseling in relationships brought insights into behavior I was unaware of by going deeper within myself.
Thanks to this experience and level of awareness, a few more inauthentic connections started to fall away months (and years) after this module. I was given the tools to understand why certain emotions were coming up to be seen and where I was being inauthentic with myself.
The more we hold onto things we need to let go of, the more energy we give it. The more energy we give it, the more space it occupies within our energetic field. Eventually, we then start feeling overwhelmed with the unwanted energy. This applies to anything or anyone in our life.
Similarly, the more we hold on to friendships that we need to let go of (walk away from) or spend some time apart, the more energy it takes to hold on to that friendship. Eventually, we feel overwhelmed by the unbalanced, unhealthy, or distorted connection.
This feeling of feeling overwhelmed, in my case, led to anxiety. I believe that by healing myself, I am also (at some level) healing my friend, as we are all connected. However, how that unfolds in her life is her journey.
This experience has helped me learn the power of spiritual counseling and healing ourselves. Also, how this may extend to others, we are linked to energetically, and most importantly, knowing when a relationship ends and how to walk away without fear or guilt.
When we heal, we shift and change our energetic flow like a dance of energy through time and space, releasing, removing, and transmuting to evolve and become the best version of ourselves. We heal our various unhealed parts to become more whole and empowered.
Where in your relationships are you being inauthentic with yourself?