Freedom – A Journey To Re-Membering My Heart

Updated: Feb 15

In 2017, when I was on a retreat, I picked up a book on sacred symbols and read the following about the heart in ancient Egyptian culture:

In ancient Egypt, the heart was the only organ left in the body after mummification because it was regarded as the center of the human being, the place of intelligence and wisdom, and indispensable for life in eternity. The ancient Egyptians believed that the heart of a dead person held the essence of truth.

When I read this I started crying. A few months before the retreat, I had a past life regression session. In the life that I visited, I found myself as a 10 year old boy, scared, and walking through a forest. I then walked beyond the forest and found myself in an open space walking towards a large temple. I went inside and it was empty. I sat on the altar and while I waited I looked around noticing how large, empty, and white the space felt. While I waited, I didn’t know that I had already died in that life.

I did not re-live the scene of my death. I had skipped that part and was in the after-life. A tall, elegant, and loving being who did not look human walked up to me and put his arm around me. We left through a door and joined an infinite number of other beings just like him. We started to fly away through a portal.

The hypnotherapist realized what was happening and asked me to go back and see what had happened. I turned around and looked down at the scene; and I started crying. I cried and cried as I observed the 10 year old boy lying dead on an altar in the big temple. The heart had been removed from his body. I was not able to visually see everything, but I was able to describe in detail all that I could see.

The hypnotherapist guided me through that life for the remainder of the session to understand what happened and why; and to gain a greater awareness of the lessons I agreed to experience before entering that life. I spoke to loved ones that I recognized at soul-level, understood the relevance in my current life, and walking away feeling grateful and happy for the healing journey I had just experienced. However, the reason I died in that life is another story in itself, but the trauma of losing my heart had a greater impact on my soul which was not addressed in that session.

The Eyes of Love

Two years later, I was now a student in an advanced hypnotherapy course, and I was being guided to go back to a specific time in my current life. I reached the age of 10 which was, apparently, when my tummy aches began. I then went into that “other” life again where I was a 10 year old boy, but, like before, I was in the after-life state as an observer.

The hypnotherapist asked who I wanted to call in, and I answered, “My family”. I got emotional as my family arrived; the same tall, elegant, and loving beings who I had seen in the after-life. They looked taller than the average human, they looked magestic in their stature, they had a wing that started from the head, and attached to the arms, and down to the feet. The shape of their face resembled that of a lion - althought more narrow. I said to the student hypnotherapist, “I miss them so much.”

“The heart was not real”, they said. “That heart, in that life, was not real. That life was not real. You did not lose your heart. You always have your heart. We are always with you”, they reassured me. I felt a huge release in that moment as I sobbed. When I ‘came back’ from that session, I was surprised by my intense emotions and longing for a family and a home that is not of this world.

I also felt an expansiveness in my heart space that I had not felt before. I also noticed a tremendous amount of air flowing through me as I breathed so deeply and clearly – like my whole body was breathing in and out. It felt exhilarating. It felt like freedom.

Up until that point, I had been drawing different versions of my heart space; always within the merkaba (or star tetrahedron), drawn in the 2D version. Each version would get clearer and more precise; and I soon started to see the correlation of the healing taking place in my own heart space. The deeper my connection, the clearer my vision.